M had moved to Philadelphia without telling me and was substitute teaching at my old high school where my mother also currently substitute taught. I was horrified and in shock that he could do such a thing without communicating (especially since we’d moved to LA for his impending career and also I never thought he’d want to live in PA, let alone without me!).
Then I was a princess and/or someone important, honorable, locked away. The setting appeared Medieval. M was still in Philly, and this other young man was in love with me. After much discussion and thought, I allowed us to have sex, and a split second after I reached climax I asked if he had as well and he shouted “No!” and flipped me over, told me he loved me, and violently came into me. He was angry when I couldn’t say it back.
There was a knock on the door and I had to hide him under the covers from the nanny trying to wake me to get me to bathe, but I wouldn’t, I told her, because I was too sad. Then another nanny dropped off a large vegan chocolate cake baked into a ceramic bowl with thick icing on top along with a note saying that one day soon I would have to bear children. I ate the cake with some friends in my room, including Megan, a pastry chef, and we all agreed it tasted chalky.