4.9.17

It was extremely dark at night--submerged in the unconscious--and I was watching the narrative of this father on a ship (perhaps in the 1800s?) who was in the process of letting his child go, violently--I recall knowing of this tale where, if two criminals got married and then copulated, they would have to later give up or kill their child...something like that. Anyway, this man violently forced his young daughter from his lap and she got caught in the ropes of the ship dangling and screaming for her dad, but he kept brutally kicking her down so that she would fall....it was very violent...and then I became the second, older child--we survived, somehow--and I found my sister at a woman's house who had two kids of her own. She didn't know who this child--my sister--was, but had taken her in. I entered the house just minutes before our father--myself now a young man--trying to alert this woman how bad of a guy my dad is--that he's basically here to kill us--and I successfully tell her in the bathroom with the faucet running to mask our voices; however, we left him in the living room with the woman's children, whom he makes write dirty messages on paper...I feel a terror approaching of what's about to happen, and so I get this woman and her kids into the car as she's calling the cops, while my sister, having turned into a 16 year old boy, is left in the house with our father who has turned on the shower and has cut up a plastic toy into hundreds of sharp shards and is cutting off my brother's tips of his toes, and I'm running screaming through the pouring rain into the highway and no cars are stopping, they're just rushing all around me, and my dad is bent over me now and pushing me into traffic and beating me and I know that this is the end for me--nobody's going to stop, nobody's going to save me.